i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
