I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My dick has a subreddit
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
