Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
