They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
