yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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