words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
