I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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