your room smells of hookers.
And success
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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