You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
