fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
