Porn is love you can see.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
