Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
