my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize