community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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