"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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