Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
