We're facebook friends in real life
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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