i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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