We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
