also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the condom got lost in my hair
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
third nipple confirmed
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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