i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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