i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
