If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
