Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
