No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
