I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
