Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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