i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
