I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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