why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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