why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
