come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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