Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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