i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
