I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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