she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Your cock deserves a montage
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
