Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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