Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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