he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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