Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize