So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
are you so shy because you have an std?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
