he wants to bone in the snuggie
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
