Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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