"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
