Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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