She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize