you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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