But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
