Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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