I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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