paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
