He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize