please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
