I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
