i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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