After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
