it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
