the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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