I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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