a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My vagina is officially offended.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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