he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
