OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
