Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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