i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's shark week go big or go home
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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