don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
