at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize