we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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