You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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