Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
